I Love finding New Awesome People

Anyone interested in one, or all of the following:

1.  Sobriety

2.  Being Vegan/Vegetarian

3.  Lesbian/Gay Lifestyle

Should check out this new blog.  This woman is awesome!  I hope you will check it out and show some support by following and sharing.

www.soberveganlesbian.com

thank you my fellow blogging community!

today marks one year SOBER!

7-11 has a nice ring to it.  todays date marks 365 days of clean blood running through my veins.  no alcohol.  no drugs.  one year of dealing with life on life’s terms.  feeling every prick and prong.  earning every tear and smile.  i am nothing short of a miracle.

what was i doing on this exact day, one year ago…?

i woke up with a beating headache.  my attempt to not drink the night before turned into a high-caliber blackout.  i woke up on 7-11-11 with that horrible feeling of incomprehensible demoralization.  what had i done?  what had i said?  where is my car?  how did i get home?

and then came the phone call from my dear friend, who i shall call beth.  she reminded me of my behavior the night before….and the pieces began to come together.

here is the short story:  i was  hanging out with a few friends. started off at a restaurant in venice beach and ended at a backyard bonfire.  where i attempted with drunken passion to turn my straight girlfriend gay. sounds rather humorous, and i can laugh about it with beth, now.  but at the time it wasn’t so funny.   i wanted what i wanted when i wanted it.  that was me, drunk.  not attractive, at all.  i wasn’t violent or anything like that.  but i was aggressive with my words and was often seductively persuasive. not classy at all.   i was known for taking straight girls to the dark side for a night.  (there were some good times!  ha ha ha)  but this night was a big FAIL.  and i m grateful it was…as this was/is a very dear friend of mine and i had no business saying what i said and acting as i did.   i will spare you the details…but when alcohol entered my blood stream, there was no telling what would happen.  what i would say or do.  who i would take home or go home with.  how i would get home.  if i would get home.  this night was no different from the rest.  and like most mornings after, i woke up drowning in humiliation.  completely exhausted.  sick.  stricken with a deep self-hatred that never seemed to escape me.  i wanted nothing more than to hide from the world and all the people in it.  a typical feeling for me during my drinking days.  i hated who i was.  what i stood for.  i hated the feelings that overwhelmed me.  i hated your happiness.  and i wallowed in my misery.  that was donna exactly one year ago.

can you say GRATEFUL?  i am so grateful today that i do not have to live that way any longer.  i don’t wake up in the mornings with that loathing self-hatred.  my memory isn’t taken from me any longer by booze and drugs.  my actions are in control.  my words and my behavior are manageable today.  and most importantly, i feel love for donna.  the spiritual depletion i felt 365 days ago is replenishing in me.  i didn’t know how to feel before.  i didn’t want to feel.  experiencing my feelings was way too much for me to handle.  living life on life’s terms was not a choice for me while i was drinking.  my world was unmanageable.  one year later i can say with confidence, that i truly experience every possible emotion and feeling that crosses my path.  and i take it in with pleasure.  painful or otherwise.  i absorb it and i live through it.  and i am grateful for that.  life is worth living when i do so on life’s terms…not mine!

what i know today:  i know now that it’s the first drink that gets me drunk.  so i stay away from the first drink.  i know now that once alcohol is in my blood, i have no control over donna any longer.  i know i will end up right back where i was 365 days ago…hating myself and everyone in my line of vision….if i should choose to drink again. i know i need to go to AA meetings in order to stay sober.  I know i need to work the steps daily, as best i can.  I know i need to keep a close relationship with my HP.  i know i have an allergy of the body and mind.  i know my head speaks louder than my mouth.  and most of the time, my head is lying to me.  i know now that most troubles in my life are born from fear.  i know how to feel today.  i know what it means to be authentic.  i know how to love and be loved.  or at least im better at it then i was before sobriety. i know what it’s like to be in the moment.   i know how to live today.  it’s not a life without problems, but it’s a life with an authentic truth that allows for pain, challenges, happiness, and laughter, successes and failures….it’s a life worth living.

my name is donna, and I am an alcoholic… with one year of sobriety!!!

what does ‘americana’ look like?

i am doing visual research on the subject ‘americana’ for a project i am working on and it has really saddened me.  the visuals that are tied with the word ‘americana’ are horrifying to me.  america and what it is known for seems to visually look like McDonald’s burgers.  super sized fries. coke. and mass amounts of junk food.  i even ran across an advert for a DONUT BURGER:

we really have become a fast food crack house of a country.  the red white and blue has been well associated with McDonald’s since the burger was 15 cents:

and it has only gotten worse.  i used the search term “americana” and here are just a few of the images that i ran across:

a picture of american health huh?  i think not.

and we wonder why we are in the midst of an obesity crisis.  some call it an epidemic.

we introduce this horrible food to our kids at such a young age.  McDonlad’s happy meals.  cotton candy.  gummy bears.  coke.  ice cream.  etc.  they become little addicts of junk food quickly.

i loved fast food as a kid.  as a teenager.  i craved it.  the sapidity of it all.   my taste buds coated with the salty fried goodness.  i wanted more. and more.  and more.  and more.  fast food is addictive.  fried fatty, salty food is addictive.  sugary sweets are addictive.  just like cocaine.  alcohol.  nicotine.  there is not much of a difference, in my opinion.  

some people don’t buy the idea that food is addictive.  that the term addiction should be linked only to  drugs and alcohol and that people who overeat are simply lacking self-control and self-will.  hmmmmm.  i disagree.  lets examine this further:

“What other term would you use for a woman who gets into her car at 11:30 at night and drives six miles to the 7-Eleven to get a chocolate bar, and does it every night? She’s gaining weight, she feels profoundly guilty afterward, and though she resolves to stop this behavior, she does it every night, night after night? That’s a food addiction.” – (pulled from webMD)

that sounds much like the actions of a drug addict.  replace the word chocolate with cocaine, vodka, or heroin.  addiction is addiction. and america is feeding it to us by the mouthful.  breeding addicts through inexpensive, fattening, processed, meat heavy, dairy heavy, salty, sugary, horrible excuses for food and beverage.

luckily i escaped food addiction in young adulthood.  i woke up to reality and realized the harm i was doing to myself.  i managed to stay away from fast food 90 percent of the time once i reached 25 years of age.

i got even smarter close to a year ago, at age 35, when i chose to become vegan.  today i am a compassionate, healthy, plant-based consumer.  and i couldn’t be happier with that decision…and i certainly feel much healthier ridding my body of americas fast food, meat and dairy based consumption.  i am a guilt free consumer today.  and the chances of me becoming obese, are much less being a vegan.  and i feel good, knowing no animal died in order for me to eat today.

i hope that america can move away from the iconic fast food symbolism that has been stamped upon us, and adopt a much more compassionate, healthy, guilt free visual for the red white and blue.

aren’t these much nicer visions of health:

i think so.  and i challenge you to give healthy and compassionate living a try.  only good will come of it.  and if you think being vegan lacks taste in the mouth, you are mistaken.  it is some of the best, most imaginative food i have ever had.  i will never go back to how i ate in my younger years.  i couldn’t possibly stomach it, for a number of reasons.  but for the purpose of this blog….try the change for your health, if nothing else.

 

 

 

 

it’s been 11 months since my last hangover…double-u-tee-eff!

today marks 11 months of sobriety for me.  seriously a miracle.  and i feel very lucky to be where i am today.  sober.  grateful.  and for the most part, happy to see the morning light when i awake.  wow.  times have changed.

i read  an article in the NY times this morning about the “hijacked brain” being used more and more as a description for addicts.  i related so much to that description.  think about it…when you envision being hijacked, what is it that you see…that you feel?  for me…similarly described in the article…i imagine a person, with a mask and a weapon, probably in all black, who forces control over a car, plane or train.  the hijacker may not be the one who drives the plane, car, or train, but with his/her violence, there is no doubt who has the power and control in the hostile situation.  and why do hijackers hijack?  one main reason would be because they need to escape, get away, or use the vehicle as a weapon in a far greater scheme.  hijacking is only geared towards the needs of the hijacker.  innocent people are torn away from their normal everyday lives, by the agitation and forced intrusion of the hijacker. hmmmm…sounds so very familiar!

let’s examine further….

compare the above description of the hijacking scenario to the “hijacked brain” of an addict.  the brain becomes an innocent victim of drugs and alcohol…which overtake the brains normal chemical/behavioral  responses, therefore hijacking it.  taking over control.  taking over the body and the mind.  the person is now powerless over themselves.  fascinating!

even after the “high” is gone, the addicts brain is under attack, as it is constantly chasing the high.

in the simplest form, this basically means…..

i am powerless over drugs and alcohol (among other things!).  with that first drink or drug, my brain becomes hijacked, and i become overtaken by the insanity of the hijacker…be it cocaine, alcohol, etc. i loose all control over mind and body.

thank god…i know longer have to deal with such an overwhelming lack of control.  i’ve taken my life back….  the bad guys are no longer welcome.

so what has changed & what have i learned  in the past 11 months?

1.  i do not suffer from that incomprehensible demoralization any longer.

2.  i do not hate the girl in the mirror any longer.

3. i am able to love myself more often than not.

4.  i no longer have hangovers.

5.  i always remember the events that took place the night before.  i remember who i was with.  how i got home. etc.

6.  i’ve learned to have compassion for myself, and others.

7.  i’ve learned to be of service to others in order to find happiness within myself.

8.  i’ve really gotten to know my ego.  and i have put him in his place.

9.  i’ve completed 11 of the 12 steps which are changing my life daily.

10.  i’ve learned what love really feels like.

11.  i feel everything! every emotion.  and i am learning to love it.  even the painful feelings.

12.  i’ve learned to not judge.

13.  i’ve learned the power of compassion and kindness.

14.  i’ve learned the importance of friendship and the dangers of isolation.

15.  i’ve realized staying calm brings me closer to serenity, and acting hysterical takes me further away.

the list really can go on…

the most important thing i have learned, however, is do not take that first drink or drug…no matter what!  

so today i celebrate myself for:

11 months

336 days

8,065 hours

of continuous sobriety!

im just like a rescue dog.

key fact #9 about donna.

9.  i am adopted.

i am just like all the other rescue animals in the world.  once an unwanted, mixed breed child with no home.  but i was whisked up into a loving family at the tender age of 19 days old.  i was “chosen,” as they say.  i am “special.”  eh…i never really bought those statements.  all children are created equal.  nothing extra special about me.  i was just a kid who needed a home.  and i got one.  a home that i am ever so grateful for and a family that i ultimately love to tears.

the breakdown of my immediate family:

who we are:

my adoptive mother, otherwise known as just plain MOM

my adoptive father, otherwise known as just plain DAD.  he passed away when i was three.

my adoptive sister, otherwise known as my older sister laura (she was also adopted).

my sister was adopted 6 years before i came into this world.

although my mother did not birth me, she gave me life.  she was there when i was sick.  she saw my tears when i was sad. or hurt.  she celebrated my birthday every year. she came to my ball games.  my brownie events.  she sold girl scout cookies to her co-workers for me so i could be prized as a top seller.  she cleaned me up when i scraped my elbows or knees.  she disciplined me, yet gave me freedom of self.  most of all, mom loved me into the woman i am.  and she still loves me.  she is my mother.   and she will always be my mother.  mom is a fighter and she took the reigns when dad died and  made sure my sister and i were well taken care of.  my mother is an amazing woman!  i wouldn’t change my situation even if i could.

being adopted, for me, was just who i was.  i never separated from that fact. it just was.

hello my name is donna and i am adopted.

i am grateful i was given up by my birth parents.  clearly if they felt the need to give me to another family, they did not have the skills to raise a child or the love to give a child.  so i’d rather be given to a family who wants me, then kept with a family who wished my conception never was.  perhaps that sounds harsh, but i certainly don’t mean it harshly. it’s the simple truth.

i know my birth parents today and much of my birth family.  i met them when i was 18 years old.  and i love them dearly.  and i am grateful i was given the chance at life, even if it wasn’t with them growing up.  consider the alternative, and i wouldn’t be here right now writing this blog.

so, im happy.

i’d like to briefly share three popular myths about us adopted kids.

Myth #1: Adopted kids grow up to have lots of problems.

us adoptees are generally very well-adjusted individuals.  studies actually show this.  being raised by a loving family, especially starting as an infant, is what makes a child blossom.  other issues that may arise in a person…..alcoholism, addiction of sorts, mental illness, educational problems, etc. are not to be blamed on adoption.  in my opinion most of these issues are hereditary.  not manifested from the fact that a person was adopted.  look at uggie.  he was adopted and he is a very well-adjusted, celebrity superstar!

Myth #2: You can’t really love an adopted child as much as you could love your “own” child.

this myth kind of pisses me off.  love is not limited to biology!  a child is a child is a child.  and a child is pure love.  yes there is something to be said for carrying a baby in your womb for 9 months, i am sure.  there is a bond that is irreplaceable, i imagine.  however, once you have a baby in your hands, and that baby is yours…biological or not, there is an instant love.  if there isn’t, then you probably shouldnt be a parent.  that’s my opinion.  someone who can’t love a baby because they are not made of the same dna as them, might have some issues of their own that need to be examined.  love of a child, biological or not, grows from the life experience together…from raising that child.  teaching that child.  nurturing and parenting that child.

Myth #3: Your adopted child will never really consider you her real parents.

bullCRAP.  real parents are there when a child is sick.  they hug you.  they stay up all hours of the night worrying about you.  they bake you birthday cakes.  they are there for all of your “firsts”.  real parents celebrate you daily.  they  monitor your vegetable intake.  they tell you no.  they discipline.  they praise you for accomplishments.  they give you allowance and they ground you from tv.  they love you unconditionally.  those are real parents!

LOL.  this picture is just plain funny so i had to share.

well, fact #9 has been revealed.  again i say, proudly:

hello my name is donna and i am adopted.

the anti-gay pastor preaches like an anti-gay lunatic

“If I had to say it again, I would say it differently, no doubt,” harris is quoted as saying. “Those weren’t planned words, but what I do stand by is that the word of God makes it clear that effeminate behavior is ungodly. I’m not going to compromise on that,” says north carolina preacher sean harris, in his defense against the outrage swarming his spoken word as a “man of god.”

effeminate behavior is ungodly?  that is the most ridiculous statement i have heard in quite some time.  it actually blows my mind to bits knowing that people, let alone people of god, are still speaking such ignorant, hateful words regarding the LGBT community. what year are we in? 2012.  things have changed mr. preacher man.  god is not the hater, you are.  in my opinion, you are a power-hungry man filled with such deep insecurity its hard for you to breathe on some days.  your authentic self is so buried deep in your ungodly soul that the spirit of the higher power you speak of is suffocating within you.  the dark walls that surround your being makes it hard for any light to seep through.  especially the light of god.  you are a bully.  your weapon of choice are your words.  you are damaging many lives with your judgement and lack of common knowledge regarding the human race, it’s differences, and the basis of lifes force…love.

lets now review your recent sermon and the lesson you give for treating effeminate behavior in our children.

wow.  as upsetting as your sermon makes me, my heart aches for you.  i have no choice but to have compassion for your ignorant views and beliefs.  your sad insight on god.  and your belief that he/she will judge us for who we choose to love.  and most importantly, your advice on punching our children, should they display any sort of “homosexual behavior.”  shame on you, pastor sean harris.  shame on you.

hello my name is donna and i am a lesbian.

i am a woman, and i love another woman.  my god will not punish me for giving my love to another.  male or female.  my god wants me happy.  joyous.  and free.  my god does not want me to judge my fellow human beings as ungodly.  for any reason.  because my god is love.  and love is the ultimate force of lifes drive.

the illusion of time

as eckhart tolle says, time is an illusion, and we should learn to live in the present or ‘eternal now’.

the sentence you just read was a moment in your time that is now gone and this sentence you are reading now is your present which is soon to be your past.  don’t start thinking about the next sentence until you are reading it, cause living in the future is never a good thing.  our minds have been trained to think in terms of past, present, and future.  therefore, we become so preoccupied on what was and what isn’t yet, that we forget about what is.  and that is right now.

sounds chaotic, but it isn’t really.  it’s all about staying in the now.  staying present.  being present in your life.  and not dwelling on what just happened or what has yet happened.

it took me awhile to understand this concept.  and i still trip up on it now and again.  i likely forever will.  but i do think i now have a tight grip on the idea of ‘now’, which has helped my life grow less complicated.  less stressful.  less dramatic.  and not so consumed with fear.  when i am living in the  future, i am living in fear.  no doubt. and if i am living in the past, i am most likely sitting in regret or guilt.

i am not saying that the future doesn’t need some attention…like planning for trips or business ventures, babysitters, etc.  what i am talking about is stressing over the interview you have next wednesday, or the project you have due tomorrow.  rather than focus all your energy on those future “stresses,” focus on this very moment, do the next indicated thing, and tomorrow will come when it’s suppose to.  right now it’s just an illusion.

rather than dwell on the fight you had with your girlfriend yesterday, and play the arguing conversation in your head over and over, let it go.  apologize for your actions and your part in it, and set that moment in time free.  it no longer exists.  it is but an illusion.

 

what a relief.  i no longer have to stress about what i did yesterday, or fear what i will do or need to do tomorrow.  i am allowed to just focus on this very moment, the eternal now.  life is so much less complicated that way.  and it’s funny how things just fall into place when you live your life in this logical, orderly manner.

i can look forward to something in the future, or be grateful for or sorry for an experience in the past, but i am no longer consumed by those illusions in time.  they are no longer real, or have not come to life yet.  the only truth in time is this very moment.  and that moment has now become the past.

 

so live in the now.  it’s the fear free, guilt free, regret free, more serene way to live.

 

 

all the cool girls are lesbians!

not really, but that is fun to say, being a lesbian myself.

i was thinking about my past relationships in life, and yes there were a few with men, and i began to daydream about why i enjoy being a lesbian.  here are the TOP 7 reasons that came to mind:

why i enjoy being a lesbian…

1.  my girlfriend and I communicate.  i mean we really communicate.  we analyze, dissect, marinate, and psycho-babble ourselves into the 4th dimension.  which i absolutely love!  we don’t yell, or scream, or throw things to get our point across.  we don’t intentionally cause emotional pain.  we talk.  and if needed we figure out how to do things better next time around to avoid conflict.  sounds so adult-like huh?  well my friends, it is.

2.  women understand each other.  a man will never fully understand a women’s mind, nor will a woman ever fully understand a man’s mind.  we really are from different galaxies.  two women in a relationship makes for two similar brain cycles working together.  women are naturally more emotional beings.  we can be dramatic.  overtly sensitive.  we think more deeply.  we cry more often then men.  we feel things on an abysmal level.  and we intuitively know how to comfort another woman in need of comforting.  it’s a natural instinct.  in my experience, (heterosexual) men don’t really have much of a clue about comforting, nor do they want to learn about how to do it.  tears make them uber uncomfortable.

3.  sex is intuitive.  that should be obvious.  when you have the same parts, you know what to do with them.  and in my opinion, sex is also way more intimate and emotional (for me) with another woman.  my past experience with men lacked intimacy.  it was sex for the act of sex.  not sex for the act of love.   plus, it simply didn’t feel right to me.

4.  the menstrual cycle isn’t seen as dooms day.  it’s understood and not ran from.

5.  women can kiss!  there is no kiss like a womans kiss.  if my lips touch the right woman, i feel it through every inch of my body.  its electric. and it is truly one of my favorite things to do…kissing my girl is a beautiful thing.

6.  im just one of the guys.  i get along with men on a different level now.  im looked at as one of them.  it’s loads of fun!  men are way more themselves when us women are not in sight.  they talk differently and they say things they otherwise wouldn’t dare say in front of a woman.  but after finding out im a lesbian, there is not much held back by the guys any longer.  i hear the way they talk about that girl over there in those skin-tight jeans.  it can be very boorish, but i must admit it’s sometimes fun to play that macho man role with the boys now and again. the men may talk with some vulgarity, and no one  (generally) gets hurt or offended.  im just one of the guys, as they say.  and really, i always have been.  i should have known long long ago i was a lesbian!

7.  no one questions why i am wearing a tie.  and damn it, i love ties!

i am a grateful and very happy lesbian.  i wouldn’t change things if i could.  i am what i am and i love what i am.

i still love men, i just don’t want to sleep with them or have a “relationship” with them.  women have my heart.

xoxo

thanks for stopping by.

can you make love to your apple device?

i bet there is an app for that! 

so i had to look.  and sure enough…

im not certain how i feel about the above app.  so i will not say anymore about it.

my iphone, ipad, and laptop macbook pro do not have a pulse.  they can not take a breath.  yet i have treated them as if they do.  these technological devices had become my main means of social interaction.  and for an introvert like myself, i welcomed this illusion of a social environment.  why?  because they made me feel “a part of” in areas i never felt “a part of” before.

that probably sounds a bit pathetic.  but im all about honesty in my life today, so if the truth makes me appear pathetic to you, then so be it.  however, i suspect i am not the only one who feels like they are finally a “part of “ this newly impersonal society we live in.  i might just be more apt to admit it and share it publicly then the next person.

i have never liked to talk on the phone.  today i (generally) don’t have to.  i can text.  i can email.  or facebook you.

for most of my life i never felt secure, safe, or comfortable with you in a room, or in a room full of many “youse”.  or sitting at the dinner table with you.  i found a solution for that.  social media.  i could  now feel comfortable walking into your world…your timeline via facebook or twitter.  i can see you from a distance and i can tell you how i feel without actually speaking to you.  i can watch your wedding.  the birth of your first child. your kids growing.  their first puppy.  your first divorce.  breakups. etc.  i can find out your interests via pinterest or your wordpress blog.  i can learn about your professional life via linkden or branchOut.  basically, i can be a part of your life without ever actually physically seeing you. touching you. hugging you, or hearing your voice. etc.

it’s rather incredible.  and on the other hand, it is rather sad.  I am almost 36 years old.  im not so concerned with myself and my lack of social abilities.  but the youngsters in the world are missing out on the vital practice of social interaction.  real human interaction is crucial for physical, mental, and spiritual growth and development.  in my opinion, kids are being stunted by the lack human to human interaction and contact.  i was born socially inept.   after all, i am an addict/alcoholic which breeds social anxiety, awkwardness and fear.  but for those born without the alcoholic gene or disposition, real human interactions can only be beneficial.

for those of you who have been keeping up with my blog, you know many changes are slowly and rapidly occurring with me.  one of which is my ability to socialize a little better.  my mouth no longer ALWAYS feels stapled shut when in a room with you.  i might not be little miss social butterfly, but i have improved and my comfort zone has widened.  basically, i am not relying on social media/networks to stay “connected” to the human race any longer.  i still use it.  in fact, i think i use it more now than before.  but that is because my interest in you and my interest in life has blossomed.  and social networks are still the best way to keep track of you.  but i don’t have to rely on them any longer to feel “a part of” this world.  to feel “a part of” the human race. 

REAL PEOPLE. REAL SOCIAL INTERACTION. oh yeah…and REAL SMILES.

i think social networking is fabulous and beneficial in many ways.  but for awhile there it was my only form of “interaction,” and that interaction is really just a grand illusion. now i use these platforms more for information about you, not for the illusion of intimacy.  intimacy in my life now comes from real contact in human relationships.  i now know that i can’t really feel connected to you unless i can look you in the eyes.  hear the tone of your voice. and even give you a warm hug, expressing the joy i have for knowing you are in my life.  my tangible life, not my online story.

don’t take yourself too damn seriously. no one cares.

key fact #7

7.  i don’t take myself too damn seriously.

how serious do you take yourself?  be honest.  humans are egotistical.  we are ego-driven.  and ego-protective.  generally, humans are raised observing people reacting to life based on how it will affect THEM.  thus we begin absorbing egotistical practices at a very young age.  and we grow into adulthood with the notion that everybody is looking at us, thinking about us, or talking about us.  the world is out to get us.  and so are you, my so-called friend.   our ego’s inflate.  and inflate. and inflate.

ego is not all evil.  it’s good to have an ego.  it’s needed for protection.  a sense of safety.  im not so sure we can survive without it.  however, with an out of control ego, the world can become very small. and very one-sided.

what happens if i begin to take myself too seriously?

i can’t speak for you, so im going to just speak for myself here.  if i become too serious, i stop taking chances.  my sense of humor gets lost.  and laughter becomes rare.  i get competitive, which in my opinion, is not desirable. i fall back into that place where i lose myself and my authenticity because im too busy adjusting who i am to meet your needs and what i think you want me to be.  and, above all, i lose my true connection with people.  my world becomes fear based, and when i live in fear, i cannot succeed.  nor live happily.  freely.  or authentically.  all this from taking myself too seriously.  get it?

“I thought the problem for me was you. Then I realized the problem for me was me. The next thing I knew I was free.”

when the focus on life becomes all about me, and when my ego takes over, im in trouble.  im unhappy.  im driving on the ego centered super highway.   therefore, i try to stay in the laughter , and humor, and not constantly look in the mirror for something that is not there.  rather, accept what is, and move on with a smile.

this is not to say that there aren’t things in the world that need my serious face and attention.  obviously i take my job seriously.  i take the tragedies in our world seriously, etc.  its ME that i try not to take SO seriously.

we live in a world with a lot of heartache and we bear witness to so much pain and suffering, that to live life in all seriousness would be too much.  to constantly worry about me me me…and what you think of me me me….and how your choices in life will affect me me me…..is exhausting and not at all fun.  i’d rather be of service to you and the universe, then to focus so much attention on myself.

and that my friends is what i mean by not taking myself too seriously.

yipeeeeeeeee!!